In more ways than one, past childhood trauma can have a lasting impact on your current and future relationships. Past Trauma of any kind affects us, whether we are aware of it or not. It is very common for people not to understand that their childhood trauma affects the things they do and how they react to certain situations.
While it is common, it does not have to be permanent. Understanding that you have experienced trauma as a child and recognizing how it affects your everyday life can help provide insight and even heel. Let’s talk about what childhood trauma may look like and how it affects your adult relationships.
What is Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma is an umbrella term and can take many forms. Simply put, it refers to significantly distressing experiences you may have been exposed to as a child. Some examples include sexual, physical, and verbal abuse, abandonment, loss of a loved one, or natural disasters. Any instance in which a child has felt scared, helpless, or horrified can be considered a childhood trauma. We all experience life differently, and what may not be traumatic for you could be very traumatic for others. The important takeaway is how the situation made you, as a child, feel.
As a result of such experiences, it may affect you in different ways. You could lose any sense of attachment or consideration when it comes to relationships, or feeling anxious and avoidant. You could also have difficulty trusting in your relationships, and become less inclined to communicate your feelings. The following is a deep dive into how these things can cause a rift in your relationships.
How to Tell if Childhood Trauma is Affecting Relationships
If you have experienced childhood trauma, the impact can be deep and long-last, but you may not know it. Here are a few examples of how it can affect your relationships
Unexplained or Unprovoked Conflict
Anyone who is exposed to trauma can be dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and the same goes strong reactions seem unprovoked or unexplained.
Lack of Trust
Trust does not come easily when you are dealing with past trauma of any kind. It can make you less vulnerable and harder to communicate what you’re feeling. Communication and trust are the foundation of a solid relationship, and when yours lacks those two things it can put up a huge wall.
Reduced Intimacy
Due to a lack of trust and communication, it may not be easy for you to open up to your partner. This can appear as physical and emotional distance, and overall feel distant.
Getting Help
Past trauma is complicated and should be addressed delicately. If you are feeling the effects of childhood trauma in your relationship you are not alone. Childhood trauma is not uncommon, and while it can be challenging to overcome, better relationships and higher quality of life is within your reach.
Source: Hilary I. Lebow (2021) How Childhood Traumas may Affect Adult Relationships
Source: Debomitra Das (2020) How Childhood Trauma Can Affect Your Relationships
Source: Self Care Impact (2021) Is a Past Trauma Impacting Your Current Relationship